With the start of the new year and the energy of renewed inspiration in my life, I've been laying out a plan to create the life that I believe will make me happy. While doing this, I thought it might be interesting to share how I go about this process and see if it helps anyone else...
1) Figure out what you really want.This sounds easy, but is where most people fall off track.
Don't limit yourself by thinking, "I can't be like this..." or "I can't have that...". Simply identify what YOU really want (not what you think your neighbors, parents, or kids want) without worrying about the road blocks or limitations that you believe would stop you from achieving what you desire.
Also, be SURE that you write these "Wants" down, otherwise the rest of this process will be wasted.
2) Get clear on what you are willing to give up in order to have what you want. (Most people miss this important step)
Just as you can't put more clothes into your closet until you've cleaned it out and made room for the additions, (OK girls, I know that you've mastered closet optimization, but eventually you'll hit a limit) in life you also need to give up something in order to make room for what you really want.
This may be letting go of past beliefs, relationships, bad habits, or other things that we tend to cling to out of habit, or out of the belief that change is bad. So look through your "living closet" and clean out the stuff that you don't need anymore or that doesn't "Fit" the new you.
3) Evaluate your current actions.A simple way to do this is to look at what you do on a daily basis, (writing down everything you do for a few days may help) and see which of your activities is getting you closer to what you really want? If what you're doing isn't taking you closer to your goals, it's probably time to trade it in on a new model of YOU.
For example, if you want to be in better shape, but you eat fast food every day- realize that a change is necessary. Or if you don't have room for new friends or relationships in your life, then you may need to look for existing relationships that you keep only out of convenience or habit, and let those go.
This may come off a little harsh, but we each only have 24 hours in the day and limited resources. If you are wasting time (or resources) on things that aren't consistent with what you want, then you are dooming yourself to missing out on what is most important in your life.
I see this all the time in the area of friends and relationships. Many people stay in bad relationships out of fear of being alone. The problem is that while in the "Bad Relationship" they have no chance of meeting someone that could be a good fit for them.
Also, I see many people who date people who they know are dead ends just to have companionship. Here again, this is counter to them finding a meaningful relationship because their time is always tied up with the "fill in" relationships- leaving no room for the right relationship to come along or develop.
4) Create a new action plan.This is actually easier than it sounds. Break down each of your "Wants" or "Goals" into actions that resemble what you are already doing, but which are in alignment with what you REALLY want to achieve.
Using the food example, instead of stopping eating (which isn't much of an option) or even NEVER eating fast food, create a plan of how to eat healthier. This might include committing to eating a healthier breakfast at home (instead of picking it up on the way to work), bringing a healthier lunch to work a few times a week, and stocking up on healthy food at home for dinner.
Do this for each of your goals in a way that you'll be able to make consistent progress toward what you want to achieve. As a mentor of mine, Dan Sullivan, says, "It's all about progress, not perfection".
5) Make the plan sustainable for the long term.The single biggest hurdle for most people is being able to create a plan that you will actually implement and follow to the end.
Most of us have a tendency to try and change our entire lifestyle overnight, but in 2-3 weeks we are burnt out, unhappy, and back to our old habits.
Instead, create a timeline that will allow you to gradually alter your lifestyle without completely destroying your life. Start with the most important goal and work with it until you have integrated it seamlessly into your life and it has become a habit.
This may require gradually building up to a goal, or it may be something that can be done in one swoop. For example, sustainably changing eating habits takes time to achieve, but cutting of bad relationships or disengaging from hobbies or activities counter to your goals can be done almost immediately. In my experience, it is much easier to simply stop doing something than to reinvent how to do an existing or necessary activity (like stuffing your face), so be patient with yourself, this isn't a race.
6) Start today.Don't wait another minute or you may wait forever. Begin taking action (however small) toward becoming 100% clear about what you want, and creating a plan to attain it right now! It has been said that "Procrastination is the language of the poor", so don't allow yourself to be "Poor" in any area of life any longer.
The world is wide open, but until you can recognize what you want, how your current actions are helping (or stopping) you achieve your goals, and set up a long term plan- You'll never know what is possible!
